Sunday, May 27, 2007
Back to the Future
Blogs 4 Brownback, "dedicated to the election of Senator Samuel Brownback (R-KS) to the Presidency of the United States in November of 2008" is convinced that heliocentrism is an atheist conspiracy, just like evolution.
"Americans," writes Blogs 4 Brownback, "have foolishly conceded to the secular among us: the issue of Heliocentrism, or the idea that the Earth revolves around the Sun."
Blogs 4 Brownback concedes "there may be some mathematical evidence going either way" but "Right-thinking people know the correct doctrine... "
For both moral and theological reasons, says Blogs 4 Brownback, "we should always bear in mind that the Earth does not move. If it moved, we would feel it moving. That’s called empiricism, the experience of the senses. Don’t take my word for it, or the evidence of your own senses, Copernicans. There’s also the Word of the Lord."
Heliocentrism, you see, is a slippery slope. Believe in it, even for just a moment, and the whole Fundamentalist moral universe collapses around your feet. Next thing you know, you'll find yourself believing in evolution. You may even find yourself doubting that George Bush is America's greatest president. Finally, as the horror closes in, the realization that the Iraq war isn't the brilliant master stroke you once thought will creep into your consciousness. At that point, you're doomed to spend eternity in a lake of fire.
Don't go there.
"Americans," writes Blogs 4 Brownback, "have foolishly conceded to the secular among us: the issue of Heliocentrism, or the idea that the Earth revolves around the Sun."
Blogs 4 Brownback concedes "there may be some mathematical evidence going either way" but "Right-thinking people know the correct doctrine... "
For both moral and theological reasons, says Blogs 4 Brownback, "we should always bear in mind that the Earth does not move. If it moved, we would feel it moving. That’s called empiricism, the experience of the senses. Don’t take my word for it, or the evidence of your own senses, Copernicans. There’s also the Word of the Lord."
Heliocentrism, you see, is a slippery slope. Believe in it, even for just a moment, and the whole Fundamentalist moral universe collapses around your feet. Next thing you know, you'll find yourself believing in evolution. You may even find yourself doubting that George Bush is America's greatest president. Finally, as the horror closes in, the realization that the Iraq war isn't the brilliant master stroke you once thought will creep into your consciousness. At that point, you're doomed to spend eternity in a lake of fire.
Don't go there.
