Saturday, December 10, 2005


Sticks and Stones

A group of traditional Republicans got together in Kansas the other day to take the party back from the radicals who've captured it. They decided to set their sights on taking the state school board out of the hands of the crazy fundamentalists who have set, as their own goal, the dismantling of public education in the state.

"I don't have any use for people who call names," says right-wing school board member Connie Morris, in response. "I just don't think about them a lot. It's not an effective use of my time."

In our experience, Connie is no slouch when it comes to calling names, but in this case it was her usually demure fellow fundamentalist on the board, Kathy Martin, who let fly with the epithet.

"We've had them for a while. The RINOs?" said Martin.

Martin wasn't speaking in tongues, she was merely indicating that, in her view, the new group was "Republican in name only."

This view is characteristic of the fundamentalists. Only they are the genuine article. Only they know the truth. Only they are doing god's work.

This view is reflected in its most appealing form in the fundamentalist's belief that anyone who doesn't read the Bible literally, or accept their charmingly primitive view of science is an atheist.

Moderate board member Carol Rupe, a good church-going Episcopalian, who opposes introducing intelligent design into the curriculum says:

"There has been the implication that those of us who want the true science standards taught must be atheists, because otherwise we wouldn't want that. But the whole idea that you can't be a person of faith and want good science is just ridiculous."

Perhaps, the fundamentalists have convinced themselves that Ms. Rupe, and other moderates, are not only RINOs, but CINOs -- Christian in name only.

After all, when god talks to you and only you, how can you be wrong?


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