Monday, February 21, 2005


Patty Bouvier Comes Out of the Closet, the Untold Story

Last Night, Marge Simpson's sister, Patty Bouvier, came out on the Fox Network hit, "The Simpsons," television's longest-running situation comedy. Homer Simpson conducted dozens of same-sex weddings after Springfield legalized them to increase tourism.

What is it about cartoon characters and gays, anyway? First the Teletubbies, then Spongebob Squarepants, and finally, we thought, Buster the Rabbit.

Bloggers all over the country are flogging their computer keyboards to put up posts about this latest cultural flap, but only at Red State Rabble will you get the exclusive behind the scenes story.

Sources close to the Showtime network tell Red State Rabble that Patty originally planned to come out on the critically acclaimed television series "The L Word" which features a group of lesbian friends. Showtime insiders say a love scene between Patty and "L Word" star Laurel Holloman, who plays Tina on the show, was taped last year, but deemed "too hot" by network executives who favored acting cautiously in the wake of the flap over Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" at last year's Superbowl.

Writers for the "L Word" protested to network execs at the time saying that the fireworks between Patty and Tina fit perfectly into a series subplot that had Tina looking for love following her breakup with Bette.

Bootleg copies of the steamy sex between Patty and Tina are said to be circulating on the internet, and Larry Flynt has purportedly offered Patty $1 million to pose in "Hustler."

Dr. James Dobson, of Focus on the Family, who has carved out something of a niche for himself by commenting publically on gays in the cartoon industry has not yet delivered a judgement on this latest outrage.


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